I’m a Witch . . . no, with a ‘W’.

No one believes me when I say I don’t like kids*…. But I have to say, I don’t see the appeal.

The other day I was looking to distract myself from school work and resorted to my guilty pleasure, TV. Scrolling through the menus I turned on a movie called ‘Witches’ which I hoped was a campy horror flick. It was campy and it turned out I had seen it before when I was a kid. It was an adaptation of a Roald Dahl classic about a boy who comes across a coven of witches while on a family vacation. And the Witches on it are all about killing kids. They La-OVed it! They thought they smelled (which everybody knows they do…) and liked to turn kids into mice and step on them. As a child I really didn’t appreciate how annoy me and my little friends really were. I feel sorry for my parents having to deal with me. Face it, kids are really just stupid. They don’t know how do anything and apparently you have to take care of them or the government jumps down your back. And as my mom would streak at me, while she took a swigs from her Jack Daniel's bottle, children steal your youth and your looks.

DORTHY MANTOOTH IS A SAINT!

… (*clears throat*)

Check this out if you’re looking for a fun time laughing at drunk hicks and a good movie outside Seattle.

Red Hook Brewery

14300 NE 145th St
Woodinville, Washington 98072

47.733, -122.149

Category

Media

Description

Movies start at dusk, between 8:45-9:30, and show until 11:00. Gates open at 6pm. Redhook beer, wine, and food will be available in the beer garden until the movie starts.

$5 admission. Children under 18 are loud and annoying and shouldn’t exist.

*: carolina, lindsay, mike z, and my dear mom.