Me Fail English? That’s Unpossible!

So I guess that it’s about time you find out. I can’t read. I joke about it but yeah, I can’t read. Thanks private and public school education! I’m totally dyslexic and so if I spell something wrong on here, I don’t want to have to care so I’m going to just refer back to this article if I do.

Now that business has been put aside, favorite Ralph Wiggum quotes:

1) “Me Fail English? That’s Unpossible!”

2) “My cat’s breath smells like cat food.”

3) “I sleep in a drawer!” Actually this is Kerney’s kid but most people (nice fans or ignorant ones) won’t call you on it because it sounds like a Wiggumism (try sounding that out. Like that stupid public school counselor told me to do when I didn’t recognize a word in a book. And then I should just skip them and try to infer their meaning by looking at the sentence as a whole. WELL WHO’S FUCKED NOW MRS. NORENBAUM! Now I just SKIP SENTENCES! I guess my real problem was that I could skip but I couldn’t go back and reexamine. YOU COULDN’T TAME THIS WILD HORSE MRS. NORENBAUM!)… Number 4

4) “Principal Skinner, I got car sick in your office” I found this gem the other day.

5) “Tastes like burning.”

6) “I’m Idaho” *sigh*… I’m Idaho. Oh, how I’ve longed to be Idaho…

7) "That's where I saw the Leprechaun. He tells me to burn things!" It just took me an extra 5 seconds than it would of taken a normal person to figure out how to spell Leprechaun. Where are my reprerendums! Where’s my parking spot! “I rest my case”… “You rest your case?” “I’m sorry! I thought that was just a figure of speech… Case closed.”

8) "At my house, we call them [fires] 'Uh-Oh's.'" hee hee hehehehe.

9) "And, when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life."

10) "Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a Viking!"

So they say ignorance is bliss.. I think my stupidity sucks ass. I never get a 4.0 on papers and I’m horrible on IMs. Where’s my bliss! WHO’S FUCKED NOW!!!
For more Wiggumisms Go Here