Chocolates That Mean It's Over

It’s odd how people’s brains work without them being able to see the gears turning. How when someone is pulling away, we push. How when someone’s in your blind spot you swerve closer. How much can be read into small gestures and actions. And break ups, that’s when the extra crazy comes out of hiding.

I knew Jeremy knew our three year relationship was over by the color roses he got me to apologize for his latest transgression. It wasn't until i told him i loved him for the first time that he bought me red roses. He told me that red roses meant love and in a note he gave me that i kept, he said he didn't want to get me red roses until he could tell me he loved me. When I decided to break things off and walked back into our apartment and found a dozen yellow rose my heart sank. One reason was because his last ditch effort made it harder for me to break things off. The other reason was because I knew yellow didn’t mean 'love' to him.

I haven’t liked chocolate since I was a little girl. I had too much on Halloween and I was sick and I’ve never been able to have pure chocolate since. The subject comes up more often than you would think and the shocked reactions that I get are predictable. Everyone always says the same thing and I have to inequitably state again “yes, I don’t like it. No I haven’t since I was a kid.. It’s along story… What are you complaining about? It just means there’s more for you!”

Today, the day after i broke up with him, I went down to our apartment manager’s office to discuss our lease and saw a small bowl of candy by her desk. I leaned in, but seeing only chocolates I pulled back. When I came up stairs my newly appointed ex was at his computer looking for an apartment. I sat down at the couch, looked on the coffee table and saw a chocolate from the bowl of candy downstairs.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“Oh, I got it for you!” Jeremy said smiling; suddenly naïve of my life long distaste. I just shook my head and laughed. I didn’t have to read into it. I knew what it was. It was foil wrapped chocolate that meant it was over.