Who Did What Now?

There is no purpose of this blog. I can't even spell the word blog and the verb form 'blogging' makes me throw up, just a little, in my mouth. Go find something more interesting. Life is short... no no wait, come back!

Sunday, February 25, 2007

OSCARS!

Live coverage from oscar watching tonight.

Apparently i'm one of the 9 % of americans who has seen all five best picture nominees. I don't know weather to be happy or to pay extra attention to school for the next two weeks cause i've probably been letting it pile up.
"What do you mean the homeworks due today?"

In other news, favorite quotes from MY oscar experience this year. Celeste on discussing dresses perfectly characterized my feelings on celebrity fasion:

"Awww" (gaze upward) "Me in that dress...!"

And who SHOULD and who WHOULD

Best picture:
SHOULD: The Departed
WHOULD: Babel

Directing:
SHOULD: Letters from iwo jima (even though i didn't see it. too sad "HEY anyone wanna watch the pianst?"
WOULD: The Departed

Costume Design:
SHOULD: Marie Antoinette
WHOULD: Marie Antoinette

Cinematography:
SHOULD: Pan's Labyrinth
WHOULD: Pan's Labyrinth

Supporting Actress:
SHOULD: Abigail Breslin
WOULD: Cate Blanchett. not that cate didn't do just a wonderful job, but... little miss sunshine!

Actrees in a leading role:
SHOULD: Judi Dench (UNDERRATED UNDERRATED UNDERRATED... um, what else ... oh yeah "UNDERRATED"
WOULD: Helen Mirren

Supporting Actor:
SHOULD: Mark wahiberg . his lines in deFarted "Fuck fuck fuckedy shit fuck your mother"
WOULD: Eddie Murphy

Actor in a leading role:
SHOULD: Forest Whitaker
WOULD: Forest Whitaker ... "We find your red heads... (ha ha) ... disgusting"

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Thursday, February 22, 2007

Chocolates That Mean It's Over

It’s odd how people’s brains work without them being able to see the gears turning. How when someone is pulling away, we push. How when someone’s in your blind spot you swerve closer. How much can be read into small gestures and actions. And break ups, that’s when the extra crazy comes out of hiding.

I knew Jeremy knew our three year relationship was over by the color roses he got me to apologize for his latest transgression. It wasn't until i told him i loved him for the first time that he bought me red roses. He told me that red roses meant love and in a note he gave me that i kept, he said he didn't want to get me red roses until he could tell me he loved me. When I decided to break things off and walked back into our apartment and found a dozen yellow rose my heart sank. One reason was because his last ditch effort made it harder for me to break things off. The other reason was because I knew yellow didn’t mean 'love' to him.

I haven’t liked chocolate since I was a little girl. I had too much on Halloween and I was sick and I’ve never been able to have pure chocolate since. The subject comes up more often than you would think and the shocked reactions that I get are predictable. Everyone always says the same thing and I have to inequitably state again “yes, I don’t like it. No I haven’t since I was a kid.. It’s along story… What are you complaining about? It just means there’s more for you!”

Today, the day after i broke up with him, I went down to our apartment manager’s office to discuss our lease and saw a small bowl of candy by her desk. I leaned in, but seeing only chocolates I pulled back. When I came up stairs my newly appointed ex was at his computer looking for an apartment. I sat down at the couch, looked on the coffee table and saw a chocolate from the bowl of candy downstairs.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“Oh, I got it for you!” Jeremy said smiling; suddenly naïve of my life long distaste. I just shook my head and laughed. I didn’t have to read into it. I knew what it was. It was foil wrapped chocolate that meant it was over.

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Monday, February 19, 2007

Why Drugs Are Addictive: Part 1


The Dopamine Hypothesis and Reward System


The dopamine system involves a complicated network of intercellular and intracellular mechanisms involved in regulating, receiving, and producing signals involved with reward learning. The reward system is the neural network of interactions that allows us to interpret relevant, survival affirming actions. Learning to do a simple action, such as eating, involves a number of small steps. Using this example, one must first learn to predict the reward associated with food, to want food, to take action to obtain it and to eventually consume it. These steps are regulated and promoted by neurotransmitters, such as dopamine, which influence responses to natural rewards such as eating and sexual pleasure (Hyman, 2006). Dopamine is important in the process of learning how to ‘want’ or ‘desire’ an object or action that has previously been determined to be ‘liked’ (Berridge, 1998). Thus, dopamine is important in learning motivational behaviors with the aim of obtaining a given reward (Hyman, 2006). Dopamine is a necessary component of the reward system because it insures that behaviors which promote the obtainment of the reward are learned.

Addictive drugs are diverse in nature but most are analogous in their ability to increase dopamine in key areas of the brain (Hyman 2005, Hyman 2006,Shultz 1998). It is because drugs such as cocaine exploit the dopamine system that the act of taking these drugs is easily learned and difficult to extinguish. By way of its molecular messenger, some addictive drugs have the ability to interact with the dopamine system, which regulates such basic parts of reward learning as evaluation of rewards and reward-associated memories (Everitt et al., 2003). When any environmental condition, such as the ingestion of drugs, affects the dopamine system, the very act of learning itself will be altered in potentially destructive configurations. Continued drug use yields a decrease in dopamine D2 receptors as well as a decrease in the release of dopamine (Volkow et al., 2004). The possible effects on learning are considerable. The reward circuits are less sensitive to stimulation by naturally occurring rewards, and the addict experiences a decrease in the motivational salience of non-drug related stimuli (Volkow, 2004). The result is an under-stimulated addict with a larger drive to use, in an attempt to activate these desensitized reward circuits (Volkow, 2004). When an addict’s cravings are satiated the learning cycle is complete, the cycle of drug dependence is propagated.

Dopamine is a universal message because it is not specialized to any specific type of reward behavior. Because dopamine does not discriminate between different rewards, anything that affects dopamine levels can affect the learning and the reward system. Addictive drugs are no different. Not only do they send trigger signals in the brain that encode pleasure, they infringe on a system that normally processes relevant stimuli for pavlovian incentive reinforcement learning (Volkow, 2004; Fenu, 2003).

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Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Sarah Silverman is MINE!

On a different note, let’s talk about something that’s made me very happy as of late. Going along with the networks mass movement of ‘move all our good shows to Thursday night’ Comedy Central has crapped out a new Jew, I mean, Jem. Jem with a ‘j’ because it involves a punky young lady that everyone wants to bone. . . like the cartoon … named JEM! Come on people! … Go shoot yourselves.

Sarah Silverman has graced my life in many ways. I watched her movie ‘Jesus is Magic’ one too many times, and then had a house guest and watched it one too many times again. Her latest exploits are on air in the ‘Sarah Silverman Program’ Thrusday 10:30 on comedy central. Awww… “Program” not “show” like all those pompous asshole sell outs.

Her exploits are refreshing, and deliciously un-PC. She’s the steak tartar of TV cuz she’s as raw as they’re allowed to get. But although I can go on and on about how nice it would be to fuck her brilliant mind, I’ll let you see for yourself.


Don’t worry about thanking me for the free publicity, Sarah.
But tonight in my dreams, you bring the hot oil.

And for in an invigorating change of pace, the network is keeping this winner on the air. Comedy Central has just ordered 14 new shows to air this fall. The jew gods are smiling and so am i.

That is all... for now.

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Monday, February 12, 2007

TroubleHelix: Off Topic Betrayal


i haven't been writing in a while because, against my wishes, my boyfriend decided to read my page. I treat this place like a diary not just because i can add links and pictures but because it's like spitting into a river; there's a big chance that no one will notice and an even bigger chance that no one will care.

I was drawn to this site by my friend, Jack, who writes for a sports blog which will go unnamed. To comment on his site, i needed to create an account and then suddenly i had a forum. A forum to yell from and never be heard. I liked it. I like it until Jeremy found my site and read all of it two days after this:

Trouble: I was wondering if i could ask you not to read my blog.
Jeremy: ... Ok.
Trouble: That's ok with you?
Jeremy: Yeah, no problem
Trouble: Thank you (*kiss*)

I'm not going to go into a 'men suck' tirade because ... well that's off topic.

The point is this whole thing was ruined for me when he read my "online journal". All of it. Every last article that i though i were just drops in an endless river.
I need to get over this whole issue for my relationship and for the chance of me once again enjoying this little past-time of mine. Until then, men don't suck, people do.

List of People Who Warned Me:
-Roxy
-James
Thank you for trying :)

And congratulations to Jeremy! You're first mention on this site was negative. And if you're reading this, it's over.

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Thursday, February 01, 2007

TroubleHelix On: Religion

Lindsay: "Church makes me happy"
Trouble: "Church makes my skin burn